A Guide to Navigating Grief with Compassion

Grief is a universal experience, we all experience it sometime, yet it can feel deeply isolating.   Losing someone or something meaningful to us creates a void, and the process of grieving that loss can be complicated and unpredictable.  (And let's face it, our western society SUCKS af grief.)  Although there’s no “right” way to grieve, embracing compassion—for ourselves and for others—can make the journey more gentle and manageable.

Here are a few ways to navigate grief with compassion, creating space for healing in your own time.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel What You Feel

“You gotta feel it to heal it!” - Me.

Grief comes with a cocktail of emotions (and not even the fun kind of cocktail!)—sadness, anger, guilt, even moments of relief or peace—and sometimes all at once. It’s natural to want to resist painful feelings or to feel guilty for having “positive” emotions. Instead of pushing feelings aside or judging them (here we go with the old “stiff upper lip” mettaility we’re all used to), try to let yourself feel them without self-criticism. Remind yourself that there is no “normal” or “correct” way to grieve. Allowing yourself to experience each emotion as it comes creates room for your heart and mind to process the loss in a more natural, healthy way.

2. Take the Journey at Your Own Pace

Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline or schedule. Some days you may feel like you’re moving forward, while others can feel like you’re taking steps back. This ebb and flow is natural, and rushing through grief or comparing your pace to others’ won’t make it easier. Give yourself permission to move at a pace that feels right for you. Take it day by day, and recognize that grief isn’t something to “get over” but rather something to learn to live with over time. Remember that moments of progress and setbacks are all part of the process.  We’re all unique and so is our grief!

3. Reach Out for Support—In Your Own Way

Grief is often easier to carry when we don’t bear it alone. Whether you find comfort in talking to close friends, joining a support group, or seeing a grief counselor, connecting with others can provide relief and understanding. But if you’re not ready to share your feelings openly, that’s okay too. Sometimes, writing in a journal, creating art, or simply spending quiet time outdoors can be just as comforting. Compassion means honoring what you need, without forcing yourself to follow others’ expectations.  Try and tune out the crap advice you may hear, because you’re going to hear a LOT of unsolicited advice.  We’re a society of “fixers”.  If anyone you turn to starts with “you just need to…” or “Why don’t you just….” smile and move along.  

4. Practice Self-Compassion Daily

It’s common to feel critical of ourselves during grief. We might question if we’re grieving “too much” or “too little,” or feel we should be handling things differently. Being gentle with yourself and recognizing that you’re doing your best is essential. Practicing self-compassion could mean taking breaks, getting extra rest, or finding small ways to nurture yourself each day. Remember, treating yourself kindly is not indulgent—it’s part of healing.  Again, this will look different for everyone.  For some it’s quiet meditation, for others it’s an aggressive workout or run, or maybe even a long nap under your favorite blanket.

5. Honor the Memories in Meaningful Ways

Finding ways to celebrate the life and memory of the person, pet, or thing you’ve lost can be healing. You might plant a tree, create a scrapbook, write a letter, or participate in an activity they loved. These gestures help honor their memory and can provide comfort, keeping the connection alive in your own way.  A Death Doula can absolutely help with this!!

Grief is deeply personal, but navigating it with compassion can ease the journey. Allow yourself to experience and express your feelings, take your time, and honor your own needs, give yourself the grace to heal. Remember, there’s no timeline or “perfect” way to grieve—only the path that feels right for you.

If you’re feeling “stuck” and need some help through your grief, please don’t hesitate to ask for help.  You can Schedule a time with me to see if grief coaching might be right for you.

Love and Light,

Nikki the Death Doula