Finding Light on Christmas Day
Merry Christmas, dear friends.
Today, while the world hums with the buzz of holiday traditions—exchanging gifts, gathering around tables laden with food, and embracing loved ones—it’s also a day that invites reflection. For many of us, Christmas is a time of joy and connection, but it can also bring bittersweet moments, especially if we’re carrying grief or the absence of someone we hold dear.
As a death doula, I spend my days walking alongside people in their most tender moments, helping them face life’s final chapter with grace and courage. The lessons I learn in this work often feel just as relevant during life’s joyful occasions, like today. Christmas reminds me of the importance of cherishing the present, honoring those we’ve lost, and finding meaning in the quiet moments.
The Gift of Presence
Christmas has a way of calling us to be present. Whether you’re watching children tear into their gifts or sharing a laugh over an old family story, the heart of the holiday lies in togetherness.
But presence is about more than proximity—it’s about attention. It’s about pausing to really listen, to soak in the laughter, the music, the warmth of a hug. It’s about putting the phone down, setting aside the to-do list, and being truly here, now. Even if you’re alone today, you can still be present for yourself, or loved ones far away.
This presence is a gift we give to others, but also to ourselves. When we slow down and savor these moments, they become memories we can carry long after the day is done.
Honoring Those Who Aren’t at the Table
For many, Christmas carries the ache of missing someone. An empty chair at the table, a familiar laugh absent from the room—these absences can feel sharper on days like today.
Grief is just part of life, and it doesn’t take a holiday. But Christmas can also be a time to honor those we’ve lost. Light a candle for them. Tell their stories. Cook their favorite dish or play their favorite song. Let their memory be part of the celebration, reminding us that love doesn’t end when someone leaves—it stays with us, woven into who we are.
If you need to cry and be sad at their absence, that’s ok too!
A Season of Hope
At its core, Christmas is a season of hope—a light shining in the darkness. It’s a reminder that even in life’s hardest moments, there is room for joy, connection, and meaning. Whether you find that hope in faith, family, friends, or a quiet moment of gratitude, it’s something to nurture and carry into the new year.
For those of you facing challenges this holiday season, know that you’re not alone. Grief, caregiving, or end-of-life planning might feel heavy today, but the love and effort you pour into those you care about matter deeply. I see you. You matter.
As we move through this holiday, I encourage you to embrace the dualities of life—joy and sorrow, presence and longing, endings and beginnings. Christmas isn’t about perfection; it’s about connection. And that connection, whether with the living or those who’ve passed, is the greatest gift of all.
From my heart to yours, I wish you peace, warmth, and light this Christmas Day.
Love and Light,
Nikki the Death Doula
