How to Write a Meaningful Eulogy
Writing a eulogy is both an honor and a challenge. While it’s difficult to even think about this while grieving a new loss, it’s also an opportunity to celebrate the life of the loved one, share cherished memories, and offer comfort to others grieving this loss. But where do you begin? How do you find the right words to capture a lifetime of love, laughter, and impact?
First of all, take a deep breath. A meaningful eulogy doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to come from the heart. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you craft a eulogy that honors your loved one and can helpfully bring a little peace to those who gather to remember them.
1. Reflect on Their Life
Before you start writing, take time to reflect on your loved one’s life. Think about the qualities that made them unique, the relationships they cherished, and the moments that defined them. Ask yourself:
What were their passions and interests?
How did they make others feel?
What stories or memories best capture their spirit?
Talking with family and friends can help you gather meaningful anecdotes and maybe even gain different perspectives on their life.
2. Find a Theme
I’ve often said that I hope my funeral is a roast. I’ve always been one to use humor to lighten a difficult mood and that’s just one of the essences of my life and legacy that I would love to see continued in my death.
A great eulogy often has a central theme that ties everything together. Instead of listing accomplishments, focus on the essence of who they were. Were they known for their kindness? Their sense of humor? Their unwavering support for others?
For example, If they were a quiet source of strength, you could highlight the ways they supported and uplifted others. Or if your loved one had a way of making everyone laugh, you might structure your eulogy around the joy they brought to those around them. (Like a roast!)
3. Share Personal Stories
Stories bring a eulogy to life. Choose a few meaningful anecdotes that illustrate your loved one’s personality, values, and impact. These can be heartfelt, funny, or even a little quirky—whatever best represents them. (Maybe not the time they tried to deep fry a turkey at Thanksgiving and burned down the garage.)
For example:
“Grandpa had a way of turning every situation into an adventure. I’ll never forget the time he got us lost on a ‘shortcut’ during a road trip, only to discover the best little diner in the middle of nowhere.”
“Aunt Sarah never met a stray cat she didn’t try to adopt. Her heart was as big as her collection of cat food, and her home was a haven for both animals and people in need.”
These moments make your eulogy feel personal and relatable.
4. Offer Words of Comfort
A eulogy isn’t just about looking back—it’s also about bringing comfort to those grieving. Acknowledge the loss while reminding everyone of the love and memories that remain. The legacy they have created.
You might say:
“While we will miss Mom every single day, we carry her love in the way we care for each other, just as she always did.”
“Though Uncle Joe is no longer with us, his stories, his laughter, and his kindness live on in each of us.”
If your loved one had a favorite saying, belief, or philosophy, consider sharing it as a source of comfort. We don’t have to just focus on their death. We can focus on the legacy they are leaving behind.
5. Keep It Concise and Heartfelt
A eulogy is typically between 5-10 minutes long, which translates to about 500-800 words. It doesn’t need to be lengthy—just meaningful. Speak from the heart, and don’t worry about making it perfect. Your sincerity is what will resonate most.
Practice reading your eulogy out loud to ensure it flows naturally. If you find yourself overwhelmed with emotion, take a deep breath, pause, and continue when you’re ready.
6. End with Gratitude and a Lasting Message
Conclude your eulogy with a message of gratitude and a final tribute to your loved one. This could be a simple thank you, a final farewell, or a reflection on their enduring presence in your life.
For example:
“Dad, thank you for your wisdom, your kindness, and your unwavering love. We will carry your lessons with us always.”
“As we say goodbye to Maria today, let us also celebrate the love she so freely gave and the light she brought into our lives.”
“Although Nikki the Death Doula is gone, her sense of humor carries on (::honks clown nose::)”
A Final Thought
Writing a eulogy is an emotional process, but it’s also a beautiful way to honor a life well lived. It can be incredibly healing too! Speak from the heart, share what feels right, and trust that your words—however simple or imperfect—will be meaningful.
In the end, a eulogy isn’t about saying everything. It’s about saying something that truly matters. And that, more than anything, is what makes it meaningful.
If you need help with this project please reach out to me! This is just one of the many services I can provide.
